i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
