He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
