Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
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I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
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I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize