Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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