you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just high enough for therapy.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
