I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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