Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
