Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
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on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
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She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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