i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
