I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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