remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
