it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
