you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
