Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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