we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
