I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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