she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
