I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize