Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
