so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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