Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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