just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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