what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
