she was so not down for the gang bang
the day after is always just damage control
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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