If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
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i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
This beer is not sobering me up at all
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?