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Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
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