Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
