Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.

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  (212): Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it. http://tfl.nu/q1v1
  Replies (67) Good night (3219) Bad night (529) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.

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  (614): There is a man walking 2 goats through the city. (614): Bonus: only one of them was on a leash. http://tfl.nu/ht0h
  Replies (27) Good night (3355) Bad night (424)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends

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  (905): dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends http://tfl.nu/gaeo
  Replies (16) Good night (1176) Bad night (3037) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.

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  (425): You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left. http://tfl.nu/zkuy
  Replies (20) Good night (1432) Bad night (5583) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.

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  (203): I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under. http://tfl.nu/oj4t
  Replies (14) Good night (3348) Bad night (601) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way

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  (601): High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way http://tfl.nu/xf3z
  Replies (9) Good night (1351) Bad night (3231) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"

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  (727): I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head" http://tfl.nu/dap3
  Replies (8) Good night (2597) Bad night (534) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...

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  (203): he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first... http://tfl.nu/kho5
  Replies (3) Good night (1540) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.

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  (319): I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine. http://tfl.nu/o11z
  Replies (7) Good night (1283) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.

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  (561): I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree. http://tfl.nu/yxk6
  Replies (11) Good night (1359) Bad night (398) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...

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  (307): My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls... http://tfl.nu/pef0
  Replies (3) Good night (809) Bad night (362) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.

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  (407): For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it. http://tfl.nu/uopt
  Replies (18) Good night (414) Bad night (1233) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.

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  (425): Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me. http://tfl.nu/5m5h
  Replies (2) Good night (867) Bad night (556) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...

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  (706): I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up... http://tfl.nu/4p4z
  Replies (7) Good night (1303) Bad night (299) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.

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  (757): and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm. http://tfl.nu/2rbo
  Replies (1) Good night (254) Bad night (168) Order T-Shirt

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