Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
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If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
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Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
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