kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Your cock deserves a montage
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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