It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
