I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
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