Who did Billy Mays play for?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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