Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
