yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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