You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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