I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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