She's JV to your varsity
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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