she looked like the bat from fern gully.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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