So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
