go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
