I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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