He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
