if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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