its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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