Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
