We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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