I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
