we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
