What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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