dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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