I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
