Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
