i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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