hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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