I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
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hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
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That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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