So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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