Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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