life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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