do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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