I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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