You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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